A man owned a small farm in Scotland. The Tax Office claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent an inspector out to interview him.

“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them”, demanded the inspector.

“Well” replied the farmer, “there’s my farm stockman who’s been with me for three years. I pay him £350 a week plus free room and board”.

“The farmhand has been here for 18 months, and I pay him £250 per week plus free room and board.”

“Then there’s the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about £10 per week, pays his own room and board, but I buy him a bottle of whisky every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife very occasionally.”

“That’s the guy I want to talk to…the half-wit” says the inspector.

“That would be me” replied the farmer.